No 10 Downing Street & Jeremy Clarkson for PM video plus Clarkson & the worlds smallest car video!

Staff at No 10 Downing Street have made a YouTube video in response to an online petition on the No 10 website, which had nearly 50,000 signatures backing a call for Motoring broadcaster Jeremy Clarkson of the BBC programme Top Gear to be made Prime Minister.

The clip thanks everyone who signed the online petition and says officials have "thought long and hard" about it. The camera then pans up the famous Downing Street stairs, showing photographs of former prime ministers, before focusing on an image of Mr Clarkson.

The Jeremy Clarkson for PM petition is now closed but more than 100,000 people have joined a Facebook group calling for the outspoken presenter to be installed in Downing Street.

Mr Clarkson - whose views on motoring and the environment have earned him a cult following - recently confessed he would be a "rubbish" prime minister, adding that the government should be in charge of "building park benches and nothing else".

A new Downing Street petition urging the government not to bestow a knighthood on Mr Clarkson "until he has done something truly worthwhile and of benefit to the UK" has received so far 34 signatures.

For anyone not familiar with Jeremy Clarkson here is a hysterically funny video of him driving the worlds smallest car around the streets of London (not to mention the BBC offices!) If you've never seen this you'll be amazed :-)

Jesus appears on Turtle Shell - for sale on eBay!

It would appear the latest appearance of Jesus is on a turtle shell, which has been compared to the face on the Turin Shroud, and it's now on sale on Ebay starting at 99c and already had one bid on it!

To quote the seller "Instead of going to church on Sunday a few months back I very selfishly decided to make some extra needed income at the local flea market.

As I took a break from my booth to do some personal shopping I came across an old lady selling turtle shells. I had never seen anyone selling these things before, so I curiously scattered through the box of hand size turtle shells to see why the heck someone would buy a hollowed out turtle in the first place. So I grabbed a couple of shells and looked at them. I wasn't too interested until I put them down belly side up and I noticed a silhouette of a face...JESUS...the Shroud of Turin Jesus was looking right at me. (Even if you look at the other side you can see a likeliness of Jesus as well).

I thought to myself " MAN! Just because I'd rather make a little extra cash on Sunday instead of going to church, God rubs it in my face by showing his Son's face on a turtle??" So I bought it because I was actually going to get it blessed and make some kind of religious art with it."

If you fancy putting in a bid for it yourself the link is HERE.

Some Monday Merriment: cause we all need a smile!

Two Irishmen were standing at the base of a flagpole, looking up.

A blonde walks by and asked them what they were doing.

Paddy replied, 'We're supposed to be finding the fook'n height of this
flagpole, but we don't have a fook'n ladder.'

The blonde took out an adjustable spanner from her bag, loosened a few
bolts and laid the flagpole down.

She got a tape measure out of her pocket, took a few measurements, and
announced that it was 18 feet 6 inches. Then, she walked off.

Mick said to Paddy, 'Isn't that just like a blonde! We need the fook'n
height and she gives us the fook'n length.'

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It was late and Charlie was about to climb into bed when his wife informed him that there was a light on in their garden shed. Charlie started to go outside to turn off the light but noticed some people in the shed who were busy stealing his things.

He ran back inside right away and called the cops, who asked him "Are there any intruders in your house?" to which Charlie replied no and explained his circumstances. The cops told Charlie that all patrol cars were otherwise occupied, and that he should just lock his door and a uniformed cop would be at his house when one was free.

Charlie answered, "Alright," hung up, waited 30 seconds, and then called the cops again.

"Hello, I just called a short while ago because there were people stealing things from my shed. I want to let you know that they're not a problem anymore because I've just shot every one of them."

Charlie then hung up the phone. In five short minutes, three patrol cars, a SWAT team, and an ambulance arrived, and of course, the cops caught the burglars in the act.

One of the cops snapped at Charlie: "I thought you said that you shot every one of them!"

"I thought you said there were no patrol cars free!" Charlie answered.

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This is supposed to be the transcript of an actual radio conversation between a US naval ship and Canadian authorities off the coast of Newfoundland in October 1995. The Radio conversation was released by the Chief of Naval Operations on Oct. 10, 1995.

- Please change your direction 15 degrees to the North to avoid a collision.

- Recommend you divert YOUR course 15 degrees to South to avoid a collision.

- This is the Captain of a US Navy ship. I say again, divert YOUR course.

- No. I say again, you divert YOUR course.

- THIS IS THE AIRCRAFT CARRIER ENTERPRISE, WE ARE A LARGE WARSHIP OF THE US NAVY. DIVERT YOUR COURSE NOW!

- This is a lighthouse............Your call!

Is a computer male or female?

A SPANISH Teacher was explaining to her class that in Spanish, unlike English, nouns are designated as either masculine or feminine.

'House' for instance, is feminine: 'la casa.'
'Pencil,' however, is masculine: 'el lapiz.'

A student asked, 'What gender is 'computer'?'

Instead of giving the answer, the teacher split the class into two groups, male and female, and asked them to decide for themselves whether computer' should be a masculine or a feminine noun. Each group was asked to give four reasons for its recommendation.

The men's group decided that 'computer' should definitely be of the feminine gender ('la computadora'), because:

1. No one but their creator understands their internal logic;

2. The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else;

3. Even the smallest mistakes are stored in long term memory for possible later retrieval; and

4. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your paycheck on accessories for it.

The women's group, however, concluded that computers should be Masculine
('el computador'), because:

1. In order to do anything with them, you have to turn them on;

2. They have a lot of data but still can't think for themselves;

3. They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time they ARE the problem; and

4. As soon as you commit to one, you realize that if you had waited a little longer, you could have gotten a better model.

The women won.