22 June 2008

Pink Elephant Joke - for which I apologise in advance!

But I couldn’t resist

A frog goes into a bank and approaches the cashier. He can see from
her nameplate that her name is Patricia Whack. “Ms. Whack, I’d like to
get a £5,000 loan to take a holiday.”

Patty looks at the frog in disbelief and asks his name. The frog says
his name is Kermit Jagger, his dad is Mick Jagger, and that it’s okay,
he knows the bank manager.

Patty explains that he will need to secure the loan with some
collateral.

The frog says, “Sure. I have this”, and produces a tiny porcelain
elephant, about an inch tall, bright pink and perfectly formed.

Very confused, Patty explains that she’ll have to consult with the
bank manager, and disappears into a back office.

She finds the manager and says, “There’s a frog called Kermit Jagger
out there, who claims to know you and wants to borrow £5,000. And he
wants to use THIS as collateral.”

She holds up the tiny pink elephant. “I mean, what in the world is
this?”

The bank manager looks back at her and says……

Wait for it……………………………..

“It’s a knickknack, Patty Whack. Give the frog a loan. His old man’s a
Rolling Stone.”

———————————————————————–
I’m throwing another one in as well just for the craic!

An atheist was walking through the woods.
‘What majestic trees’!
‘What powerful rivers’!
‘What beautiful animals’!
He said to himself.

As he was walking alongside the river, he heard a rustling in the bushes behind him. He turned to look. He saw a 7-foot grizzly bear charge towards him.
He ran as fast as he could up the path. He looked over his shoulder & saw that the bear was closing in on him.

He looked over his shoulder again, & the bear was even closer. He tripped & fell on the ground. He rolled over to pick himself up but saw that the bear was right on top of him, reaching for him with his left paw & raising his right paw to strike him.

At that instant the Atheist cried out, ‘Oh my God!’

Time Stopped.

The bear froze.

The forest was silent.

As a bright light shone upon the man, a voice came out of the sky. ‘You deny my existence for all these years, teach others I don’t exist and even credit creation to cosmic accident.’ ‘Do you expect me to help you out of this predicament? Am I to count you as a believer’?

The atheist looked directly into the light, ‘It would be hypocritical of me to suddenly ask you to treat me as a Christian now, but perhaps you could make the BEAR a Christian’?

‘Very Well,’ said the voice.

The light went out. The sounds of the forest resumed. And the bear dropped his right paw, brought both paws together, bowed his head & spoke:
.
.
.
.
.
.
‘Lord bless this food, which I am about to receive from thy bounty through Christ our Lord, Amen.’

1 comment:

Joey said...

Wonderful. Absolutely wonderful.